Couples golf. No, it's not about Fred. It's about two people who under normal circumstances love each other. Enter golf.

"Honey, try leaning forward a little more. Remember, 'dive into the pool.'"
"Sweetheart, you're lunging at the ball again. Steady!"
"Didn't I show you this last week? Why are you still doing that?"
"You want me to put my club where?"

Married or not, couples who play golf together often have trouble staying focused on their own games. "Usually, the man tries to dominate the woman with instructions," says Tom Blair, a 16-year PGA Professional out of Wilsonville, Oregon. "I give lessons to many couples, and I always remind the man...'Look I will be your wife’s instructor, and YOU be her lover; unless you want to change places!'" With that said, Tom has little trouble helping both players improve. Russell Miller, of Mirabel, Quebec, agrees with Tom that men usually need some lessons in restraint when it comes to advising their partners.

"I try to tell the husband to be aware of his wife's most common tips learned during her recent lessons so that he can at least be consistent with what her teacher has been telling her," says Russell. "I also tell them both that they should make a deal at the beginning of the game: they will or will not comment each shot. That way they do not have unnecessary pressure or expectations." 

Joe Sciortino, a PGA Master Professional in Boynton Beach, Florida, shares Russell's philosophy. "It is natural for couples to want to help each other when playing, but it is often felt as criticism by the other partner," notes Joe. "Therefore, I ask couples to tell each other what they are working on in their swing on the first tee and to ask their partner to let them know if they are doing what they are trying to do - without any editorial comments on whether what they are trying to do is 'right' or 'wrong'."

Many PGA/LPGA professionals offer "couples lessons" to help twosomes better understand one another on the golf course, or at least respect what the other is trying to accomplish. The game is difficult enough without worrying about making someone else happy in the process. Most teachers agree that it is important to identify the reason couples play together, and to focus on that rather than how well the game is played.

"Ask yourself this question, "Why did we ask each other to play?" says Connie Chillemi, an Inwood, New York LPGA Teaching Professional. "Is it to enjoy each other's company? To enjoy the nice day? To hit a few good shots? To have fun?" Connie believes figuring that out before the round begins will help keep unwanted advice in check. "Wager if you like, or play alternate shot. Choose a format that makes it light and fun, and takes the focus off mechanics. I offer on-course lessons to couples to bring out these ideas," adds Connie.

Troy Sprister, a PGA Professional in Carmel, California, suggests couples play in a format that allows them to work together rather than compete. "Try to find a game where the couple may play as partners in an attempt to eliminate competition between the couple," says Troy. "Support your partner, but don't patronize." 

John DeSantis, also in California, reminds couples that golf is a game that asks you to beat your own personal goals, not the goals of those around you. Having taught for 40 years, John knows that enjoying the game often means helping others enjoy it, too. Mary Hafeman, a 20-year PGA Professional and former LPGA Tour Player, agrees. "Golf is a game to share and enjoy the journey of playing with someone you like and on a course that you enjoy," she says.

Before you tackle that next course with your significant other, read a few more words of advice from PGA/LPGA teaching professionals across the nation.